Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Foreboding weather
In the past few days the Kuala Lumpur skyline had been shrouded in conjunctivitis-inducing, running nose causing, environment polluting fumes blown over from neighbouring Indonesian island Sumatra. The spot where I used to see the majestic KLCC twin towers stood in distance from my apartment was replaced by a screen of mocking white haze, marring the balcony view, mocking my quest for a clearer perspective of everything and my romantic pursuit of a seemingly elusive future which I now have steely resolution in turning into a reality.
Today, thankfully, as I hanged my laundry out to dry on the balcony, a loud roll of thunder caught me off-guard, accompanied by strong gusts of wind infiltrating my 12th-floor apartment through the balcony. A stray pocket of wind had caught two pieces of wet clothing and sent them landing on the floor. Moments later, the atmosphere in my living room turned very foreboding as less light, more wind and a certain air density filtered through the balcony and through its opened sliding glass door into my living room. Attempting to close the sliding door before my research of a London investment bank gets blown away from the table, I realised my morning had been productive, particularly in gathering ideas to write my job application cover letter to the bank. This job application is a part of a bigger quest, a shot at happiness, something I need to achieve within the shortest time possible, not to be messed up by the wind! Anyway, I have digressed. Having closed the door and hearing another loud roll of thunder, soon, I realised, even the clouds have had enough of the annoying invasion of this alien haze. This afternoon, it was quite obvious that a storm was imminent in KL.
As predicted, shortly after few more rolls of the thunder, it started to rain throughout the rest of my afternoon where I lost myself in my own thoughts.
It was a good rain, washing away dirt, haze particles, impurities in the air, washing away my frustration of the unhealthy, polluted Kuala Lumpur air, purifying my thoughts and giving semblance of the clear perspective I so long for since I suddenly embarked in full force on this quest about a week ago. As I sat down to continue my career research for the rest of the afternoon, I was distracted a little, and realised - that the rain came in two long spells, both times strong but even tempered all the while. And when the rain left in late afternoon, it left behind a palpable sense of freshness mixed with a very subtle note of lemon fragrance and clean laundry flapping in the wind. For once in days, I could see the KLCC twin towers clearly in the distance again, from my 12th-floor apartment's balcony, along with the KL tower and other skyscrapers, set against a light navy coloured backdrop of the late afternoon.
Emerging from a rainy day of job application and solitary thoughts with the odd, occasionally vocalised monologues here and there, I am now faced with being alone, again, throughout the weekend. The room mate and good friend who kindly took me in when this quest started has finally gone back to his parents' home for a few days. Although he kindly offered to take me with him I have politely declined, as I wanted time to finish my job application. This is the first time I'm alone since that day. The rest of my house mates have all went away, or is going away for the weekend. One house mate left to be a bridesmaid at her friend's wedding at Penang. Another is going to stay over at her boyfriend's. The mysterious 30 years old room mate has also gone back to his mysterious other home. Alone. I guess the foreboding weather has filled me with slight melancholy. Is this a healthy feeling? Can one ever get used to this? I really can't help thinking.
The few times I met K, K was always alone in that neatly, tastefully decorated apartment. K has a house mate whom I have never met. I have the impression that K doesn't interact much with K's house mate, and I imagine when K is alone in that apartment, K is engrossed with work, writing soap script for Belgian television or updating the cool music website. Only when K is taking a break from work, I imagine, that K distracts K's thoughts with people. As an artistic soul, I'd imagine personal space is very important to K, especially when K works. Although, is it wrong to assume that K would, maybe, sometimes, wished to be invaded by someone in K's personal zone? Particularly when the weather there took a turn for its characteristic foreboding, gloomy and melancholy? Perhaps, it could be something like having to answer yes or no to suggested restaurants that K was to be taken to for dinner that evening. Or maybe, even, something like accommodating some time and giving up a little space to someone with wandering hands and mischievous intents, as K worked on that couch under the Buffalo 66 poster, in that neatly, tastefully decorated apartment...
Today, thankfully, as I hanged my laundry out to dry on the balcony, a loud roll of thunder caught me off-guard, accompanied by strong gusts of wind infiltrating my 12th-floor apartment through the balcony. A stray pocket of wind had caught two pieces of wet clothing and sent them landing on the floor. Moments later, the atmosphere in my living room turned very foreboding as less light, more wind and a certain air density filtered through the balcony and through its opened sliding glass door into my living room. Attempting to close the sliding door before my research of a London investment bank gets blown away from the table, I realised my morning had been productive, particularly in gathering ideas to write my job application cover letter to the bank. This job application is a part of a bigger quest, a shot at happiness, something I need to achieve within the shortest time possible, not to be messed up by the wind! Anyway, I have digressed. Having closed the door and hearing another loud roll of thunder, soon, I realised, even the clouds have had enough of the annoying invasion of this alien haze. This afternoon, it was quite obvious that a storm was imminent in KL.
As predicted, shortly after few more rolls of the thunder, it started to rain throughout the rest of my afternoon where I lost myself in my own thoughts.
It was a good rain, washing away dirt, haze particles, impurities in the air, washing away my frustration of the unhealthy, polluted Kuala Lumpur air, purifying my thoughts and giving semblance of the clear perspective I so long for since I suddenly embarked in full force on this quest about a week ago. As I sat down to continue my career research for the rest of the afternoon, I was distracted a little, and realised - that the rain came in two long spells, both times strong but even tempered all the while. And when the rain left in late afternoon, it left behind a palpable sense of freshness mixed with a very subtle note of lemon fragrance and clean laundry flapping in the wind. For once in days, I could see the KLCC twin towers clearly in the distance again, from my 12th-floor apartment's balcony, along with the KL tower and other skyscrapers, set against a light navy coloured backdrop of the late afternoon.
Emerging from a rainy day of job application and solitary thoughts with the odd, occasionally vocalised monologues here and there, I am now faced with being alone, again, throughout the weekend. The room mate and good friend who kindly took me in when this quest started has finally gone back to his parents' home for a few days. Although he kindly offered to take me with him I have politely declined, as I wanted time to finish my job application. This is the first time I'm alone since that day. The rest of my house mates have all went away, or is going away for the weekend. One house mate left to be a bridesmaid at her friend's wedding at Penang. Another is going to stay over at her boyfriend's. The mysterious 30 years old room mate has also gone back to his mysterious other home. Alone. I guess the foreboding weather has filled me with slight melancholy. Is this a healthy feeling? Can one ever get used to this? I really can't help thinking.
The few times I met K, K was always alone in that neatly, tastefully decorated apartment. K has a house mate whom I have never met. I have the impression that K doesn't interact much with K's house mate, and I imagine when K is alone in that apartment, K is engrossed with work, writing soap script for Belgian television or updating the cool music website. Only when K is taking a break from work, I imagine, that K distracts K's thoughts with people. As an artistic soul, I'd imagine personal space is very important to K, especially when K works. Although, is it wrong to assume that K would, maybe, sometimes, wished to be invaded by someone in K's personal zone? Particularly when the weather there took a turn for its characteristic foreboding, gloomy and melancholy? Perhaps, it could be something like having to answer yes or no to suggested restaurants that K was to be taken to for dinner that evening. Or maybe, even, something like accommodating some time and giving up a little space to someone with wandering hands and mischievous intents, as K worked on that couch under the Buffalo 66 poster, in that neatly, tastefully decorated apartment...
Bull of a Black Sheep
Black sheep. Misfit. Lost tribe. Understanding apathy. Abuse. Crisis. Misplaced self-worth. Realisation! Immunity! Determination. Resolve.
Future. Unknown? Peace! Hope! Love! Fingers entwined! Benson & Hedges. Lingering after-taste. Statue of Erros. Haircut. Calvin Klein boxers. Candles. Aftershave. Vincent Gallo. Christina Ricci. Climax. Intimate smile. Future of memories projection.
Faithful Leap. Runaway train. Peaceful ears. Peaceful at heart. Peaceful despair?? Indifference! Charging on. Bull.
Thoughts seduced. Bright blinding light. Sharp clanging of bell. Possibilities opening wide. Inviting vulnerability.
Beacon! Hope! London!
Future. Unknown? Peace! Hope! Love! Fingers entwined! Benson & Hedges. Lingering after-taste. Statue of Erros. Haircut. Calvin Klein boxers. Candles. Aftershave. Vincent Gallo. Christina Ricci. Climax. Intimate smile. Future of memories projection.
Faithful Leap. Runaway train. Peaceful ears. Peaceful at heart. Peaceful despair?? Indifference! Charging on. Bull.
Thoughts seduced. Bright blinding light. Sharp clanging of bell. Possibilities opening wide. Inviting vulnerability.
Beacon! Hope! London!
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